When I first watched the film Constatine I enjoyed it very much. It had some problems. It seemed poorly edited. Gi minagahet, when something is as choppy as that in terms of dialogue, comprehension, hanging scenes, then you have to wonder if the machalapon nature isn’t intentional. Buente ha hasgon muna’taiguini este. But then again, if you read Hellblazer comics, from which Constatine is derived, then you see how schizophrenic they can be, not necessarily because of the subject matter, but more because of the dozens of people who have scrapped together a personality for John Constatine, as well as the mythology for his universe. (I mean, you put Alan Moore, Garth Ennis, Grant Morrison and others in a room, and you’re gonna be bileng with bloody fish and chips).
One line in particular stayed with me after I walked out of the theater. Ga’ga’tot gi hinasso-ku. It was of course, the only line from Keanu in the whole film which didn’t make me snicker because this might be the only film in which I will say he acted worse than A Walk in the Clouds. The line was, “into the light I command thee.”
For years I’ve been writing a poem that takes this line as its mantra, “into the light I command thee.” I started writing it in my head. This was when I was living in the states and so I eventually began writing it on the back of Vons receipts. I then graduated to the last pages of books and the backs of notes for board meetings. As of today the poem is sprawling insanely over dozens of pieces of paper, some of which I cannot find and will probably never find. It has become a great tangle of ghosts, where sometimes pieces of it emerge and slither slip their way into my Marianas Variety columns, blog posts and lectures.
The poem has become a lifelong ganta about my attempt to exorcise certain demons gi lina’la’-hu yan gi hinasso-ku. These demons derive from my socialization in Guam, the ideological implants that I have received over my life about patriotism, colonization, militarization, imperialism, and so on, that I know, in a decolonization context, I must question. The ways in which the things I accept and believe and take for granted are tied to larger structures of power in the region.
I want to command into the light, the link between my thoughts and actions, the very discourse I create and the military industrial complex, the Project for the New American Century, the Pentagon, the Armed Forces Committee, the Department of the Interior and so on. I find myself, on a daily basis, even without knowing it sometimes, acting, thinking and speaking on behalf of men in suits, thousands of miles away, who want one thing for my island, that it remain a military colony of the US.
The poem remains unfinished, as this project one critical to both my life and my work, remains unfinished.